Rob Maisel
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The Link Between Profession & Identity

5/29/2020

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How strongly is our profession linked to our identity?

Language may provide us with the answer to this question.

When someone asks, "what do you do (for work)?", there are two types of responses I have observed (in English).

"I teach", "I practice law", etc is one type. This response provides an action as the answer, rather than an occupation.

The other type of response is, "I'm a teacher", "I'm a lawyer", etc. Here, the person is stating their profession.

I believe that these two responses to the question are quite different, and portray different meanings about the individual to the world. In the former, the focus is on the action, and a strong link between profession and identity may not be present. In the latter, the words "I am" are used to represent the work, the same words used when describing other aspects of one's identity ("I am South African", "I am 23 years old", etc). Perhaps without even realizing it, a large piece of their identity is tied to this response.

My experience in asking this question, at least to people in the United States, is that most responses come back in the form of profession rather than action. What has your experience been? What may the type of response given indicate about values and culture?
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Authenticity And Why It Matters

5/22/2020

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I have seen the value of authenticity in networking and wrote a post about it awhile back. Authenticity however, applies to far more in life than just networking. To help illustrate my point, consider how you feel in the following circumstances:

- Someone you haven't spoken to in years calls you up and asks you for a favor
- A close friend of yours calls you up to see how you're doing. During the conversation, he/she ends up asking you for a favor

- A stranger approaches you in public, compliments you briefly, and asks for your phone number after a few minutes
- A stranger approaches you in public, demonstrates genuine interest in getting to know you, and after 10 or 15 minutes, asks you if you would like to stay in touch

- You receive an email from someone you barely know asking you to buy a product or service
- An established connection of yours calls you to see if you'd like to have lunch. During that conversation, he/she mentions a new product or service offering and asks if you might be interested

In the first of each of the above examples, I would most likely feel that I am being contacted because the other person wants or needs something from me. The other person's motives appear to be self-serving.

In the second of each of the examples. My perception is that the intentions of the person are genuine and I am the focus. Me doing a favor, providing my phone number, or buying a product/service isn't the goal of the interaction, it is secondary. The other person genuinely cares about me and my well-being.

It is surprising how many times I observe inauthentic situations occurring in society. The results of being genuine and putting others' needs before one's own are far greater than the results received when one's agenda is self-serving. Even when disguised well, people have a good sense, and can generally tell when authenticity is lacking from an interaction.
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Being Proactive vs. Being Reactive

5/15/2020

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We can choose to be proactive or reactive in life. Choose the former, not the latter. Here's why.

When we are reactive, we wait until the problem has occurred, and then attempt to solve it. Once we become aware of the problem however, it is oftentimes too late to do anything about it.

When we are proactive, we take steps to avoid the problem. Being proactive for many of us will require a mindset shift. It will be necessary for us to think in novel ways, make changes, and take action.

Being reactive is most certainly easier, but being proactive is the winning choice!

A special shoutout here to Steven Covey, who speaks much about this topic in his book, The 7 Agreements. I owe much, if not all of the power behind this post to you my friend. May you rest in peace.

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The Definition of Family

5/9/2020

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Family is often defined as the people who are related to us by blood, whether closely like a parent or sibling, or more distant like a cousin.

"Don't worry kid, you're family" a close friend of mine once said. He and I have been friends for a very long time and would do anything for one another. After hearing him say that, I began to think that the concept of family could encompass more than just a bloodline...

I lived with a host family during my semester abroad in Buenos Aires. Although we don't share the same genetic makeup, I consider them my family too.

Years later, upon returning to Argentina, I met my aunt's host family and instantly connected with them. We bonded over conversation for hours even though it was the first time we had ever met. They are my family too.

I have known my father's childhood friend for many years. Over time, we have developed a strong bond and he has become a father figure in my life. He too, is family.

Through life experience, I have expanded my definition of family from solely a genetic perspective to one that includes connection as well.

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